For the Girl Who's Weighing if Long Distance Dating is Worth It

Let's Chat: Long Distance Dating by Monica Hodges

Real talk, I have only had one day of experience dating in person. Yes, one day. When I met my now husband, we enjoyed one blissful day of dating in the same place before beginning our three-year season of dating and engagement long-distance. Looking back after one year of marriage, I know that perseverance, commitment, and intentional effort carried us through that time, and our marriage is better because of what we learned in those years.

The long travel days, FaceTime calls, immense joys, heartbreaking sorrows, and learning to build a life together while being apart is similar to gold being refined in fire.

The process is painful, but when it is complete, your love emerges beautiful and refined.

What do I mean by refined? You and your boo get to practice living life and showing up for the other person even when it is hard. You begin to genuinely understand the difference between love and just liking someone a lot.

Speaking from experience, it can be so difficult to know where to begin. So if you've found someone you think is worth the distance, here is my advice: Communication, sacrifice, and authentic love are the foundations of a strong long-distance relationship.

COMMUNICATION

If you're dating long-distance, you have to learn to communicate well. Conflict is never fun, but when you aren't in the same location, you must say what needs to be said sooner rather than later. When phone calls and FaceTime are your primary ways of being together, a lack of communication simply isn't an option. Get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Couples who do distance well communicate well. If you feel you aren't on the same page, work to get on the same page, and in the process you will find yourself growing in trust and gaining clarity.

SACRIFICE

Whether it's dedicating time to calls, stepping away from friends at times, traveling on weekends, moving across the country, or simply embracing uncertainty about the future, long-distance dating cannot be done without sacrifice. If you're unwilling to sacrifice for the other person, distance dating may not be for you. Anything worthwhile requires effort, and long-distance relationships can provide a strong foundation for selflessness and commitment if you're willing to invest in them.

LOVE

Authentic love communicates fears, joys, frustrations, and pains. Authentic love sacrifices for the other person, whether it is easy or difficult. Love is worth the distance and grows through each challenge along the way. In learning to sacrifice and watching your partner do the same, you'll find that if love remains at the center of each moment, you'll be just fine.

So if you're looking to seriously date someone – whether in person or from miles away – lean on these foundations, and you'll be just fine.

All my love,

Monica Hodges